


wish we could turn back time to the good old days

by queenofcheese



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, John being sad, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, alex being a perfect bf, i fell asleep after posting this, technically a nervous breakdown but theres no tag for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofcheese/pseuds/queenofcheese
Summary: He sighed and massaged his temples. First, he had to grade papers for his professor that were due back in less than 24 hours. Second, he had his own essay that had to be turned in less than 48 hours. Thirdly, he had to study for his midterm which was next week. Finally, he had to apply for an internship at a law firm to get experience and recommendations.John wasn't stressed. Not in the slightest.





	wish we could turn back time to the good old days

**Author's Note:**

> i have a total of (6) assignments that are due by monday and i havent started on any of them. instead, im writing this and having an hour long panic attack (´ヘ｀;)
> 
> life is great guys
> 
> ALSO ROLE REVERSAL WOWIE FOR ONCE ALEX CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF WHOWOULDAGUESSED

_Failure._

A word that was permanently etched into John's mind. Ever since he was a small child, he'd been called the name so often he thought it was his own. Whether he hadn't gotten a spot on a sports team or, Heaven forbid, gotten a bad grade in one of his classes, his father would use his favorite nickname for his least favorite child. And he would take it. No talking back. No crying. Just quietly sitting in front of his father and a quiet "Yes, sir." whenever he was done ranting about whatever John had messed up.

Now, years later and his father long gone, John was sitting at his desk. _Failure_. There was that word again. He sighed and massaged his temples. First, he had to grade papers for his professor that were due back in less than 24 hours. Second, he had his own essay that had to be turned in less than 48 hours. Thirdly, he had to study for his midterm which was next week. Finally, he had to apply for an internship at a law firm to get experience and recommendations. 

John wasn't stressed. Not in the slightest.

He was simply busy. That's all. Everyone gets busy at some time or another. The only people who get stressed are the people who don't manage their time well enough. His father told him that once and he lived by that every day of his life. John sat back for a second to look down at his absolute mess of a workspace. Old energy drink cans littered the floor, papers with red pen markings scattered his desk, his phone buzzed annoyingly on the side with three missed calls from his boyfriend, Alex, followed by a spew of worried messages. 

Shit.

Maybe he should take a break. A nap and some actual food would do him some good. But he had to finish. He had to prove to his father that he wasn't a failure for once. He yawned and stretched before silencing his phone and going back to grading.

It wasn't until 12:18 a.m. that John heard a noise at his front door. He didn't even flinch. He was finally moved on from grading freshman essays and thesis statements to writing his own essay on the Revolutionary war. It wasn't until someone grabbed his shoulders did he show any sort of reaction. "Alex," He hissed softly. "I'm busy."

"You need a break. And food. Lucky for you, I brought both." Alex responded, placing a small container of what seemed to be some sort of Chinese dish in from of John, who groaned immediately.

"Seriously. I need to finish. This thing is due-"

"It's due in two days. You can rest for now. You'll get it done later." Alex kissed John's cheek lightly before moving to sit in a chair at the opposite end of the room. 

"If I don't get it done now, then it'll never get done. I'm not like you, Alex." John replied before returning to typing on his laptop. He only had to write four and a half pages. It won't be too hard if he just focussed. If he was lucky, he'd be done before 3 a.m. and get about four hours of sleep. Not that he needed it, thanks to the energy drinks. He didn't want to be a _failure_. He didn't notice Alex was talking again until he felt him leaning over his shoulder.

"John, listen," He started to say before John cut him off.

"I can't, Alex. I fucking can't. If I stop, then I'll fail and my father was right all along. I don't want to be a failure. I can't," His voice trailed to a soft whimper and before he knew it, he was crying. Wherever his father was, he knew the bastard was laughing down at him. He couldn't help it. The tears kept coming and he was babbling nonsense and he couldn't stop. Maybe the energy drinks weren't a good idea. Alex held him through it all. Shushing him softly to help calm him down. He knew if the positions were reversed, John would do the same for him.

They stayed like that for a while. Neither one wanting to move, despite the awkward position. It wasn't until about 12:45 that Alex took it upon himself to carry John to bed, quietly comforting him through every protest, even promising him to help write his essay. To him, John wasn't a failure; he was the complete opposite. The only problem was trying to convince John to feel the same way.

**Author's Note:**

> this probably ooc as fuck or something but this was a vent fic so i dont go completely crazy  
> also this is set in college and i take college classes but im still in high school so take that with a grain of salt  
> criticism is appreciated. like idc if its constructive or not just tell me if my fic sucked ok
> 
>  
> 
> [follow my tumblr](https://curesforwritersblock.tumblr.com) if you like my shitty stuff


End file.
